In essence these are both wake up calls from the Universe yet there is a distinct difference between the two which I will explain in the following.
A dark night of the Soul is a time of redirection and rebirth. It’s usually a lengthy period with a trajectory spiraling downwards, dragging you lower and lower internally. Externally you might “put on a face” and still show up to work every day.
With hindsight you might be able to see a clear inception point, however usually it’s like a bit of gravel in your shoe. At first it’s a slight discomfort and you’re able to continue walking.
Yet if you do, the discomfort begins to spread to other areas and soon it’s difficult to see a beginning or an end. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically everything seems to be in an upheaval.
It’s often experienced as though doors and windows, big and small are being slammed in your face or as though everything is being “taken” from you. However it’s important to note that things are being broken to:
a) let the light in and
b) to give you the opportunity to rebuild from a solid foundation rather than one of sand.
Again – usually only viewable in the clarity of hindsight or someone externally supporting you.
While you’re going through it things just seem to suck worse and worse – and you might have absolutely no clue what is going on.
The reason we experience it as both lengthy and tough is because of our very human and natural resistance to change.
The way your physical brains work it’s literally designed to exert the least amount of effort.
The kind of change a dark night of your soul signals usually brings up lots of fear…
However the most effort exerted is usually in the resistance itself.
Once you’ve been brought to your knees and have surrendered to that which might lie beyond your current understanding or comprehension freedom awaits.
Along with a deep sigh of relief.
Common Misconception
To be clear, the “brought to your knees” part is not some cruel act of an almighty God coming to judge you.
Instead it’s a powerful beckoning call asking you to return home to what you are in truth, what you have always been and will always be.
To lift the veils that have been hindering your sight so you might see and know your path forward.
A Dark night of your Soul may occur several times over the span of your life. In my experience it’s not a one and done deal.
It usually comes after you’ve (for a long while) been ignoring increasingly louder and more persistent nudges to listen within, change direction, shift your perspective or expand in ways that scare you. Continuing to ignore these nudges cause deflation mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically you’ll feel increasingly more and more deflated.
Personally, at the time of completing this article (48 years/July 2024) I’ve clear memory of at least 3, and on top, listing out the above symptoms I realized I had been moving through on myself!
Look at nature to which you belong and are a part of, not apart from, and you will see that breaking free of restrictions to expand is completely normal and part of the natural cycle.
A caterpillar breaks through its restricting cocoon when it grows wings and is ready to fly.
In fact it is that very act that allows for it to fly as the process of moving through the tight cocoon is what allows fluids to be pressured into the veins of its wings giving it the ability to fly.
If you try to “help” the butterfly and make it easier for it by cutting open the cocoon or removing it, it won’t be able to fly.
A sprout breaks through the protective shell when it is time to unfold and a snake sheds its skin as it grows bigger.
Only for humans does this natural cycle of death and rebirth seem to have been lost.
We have lost the ability to walk through the fires of transformation. Have lost the ability to hold space for ourselves as this process occurs. To be there for ourselves while the storm rages. To simply sit and allow for ourselves to be burned clean. Purified by fire.
You believe that your scars should be hidden as shameful reminders of your failures and incapabilities rather than worn proudly as testimony of your lessons, of your learning, of your ability to walk through fire and live to tell.
Understanding that you are a part of the whole and the whole is a part of you it is easy to think yourself small and insignificant, you were however, created as your creator.
By the extension of love you were brought forth, and it is your gift upon creation to extend as you were. To create and to expand. The world you see is yours. Yours to form, shape, build and create.
As you awaken to the truth of who you are, you also regain the understanding and deep knowledge that the world you see and choose to live in, can be changed through you.
While dark nights of your soul are, in no way fun to move through, they cleanse you, and opens your eyes far wider to your own personal power, sovereignty and possibility than anything else can.
Rather than just assume one way or the other. Run with it or resist, allow yourself to be in the space of inquiry.
Dark Nights of Your Soul is a re-direction, a re-turn and a re-connection with your essence, your path and your soul’s divine purpose. It’s a cleansing and an illumination.
The questions I personally have asked myself are:
Again – without assuming I’ve let these swirl within as well as have sought reflection from someone I know are not attached to the outcome of either or and whom I trust implicitly.
If you want me to be that person for you, check out my spiritual business coaching here.
Something I noticed from my most recent dark night of my soul was:
All signs of flow and alignment.
Will you most likely have moments of WTF, resistance and fear?
You bet.
However what I’ve noticed is how their level of intensity or charge is very very slight and almost non-existing.
What I notice more so is the complete collapse and surrender instead – and I mean that in all the best of ways.
If you’ve ever gone through a dark night of your soul (or multiple like me) then you know what I’m talking about.
Be kind, be caring, be compassionate.
When we realize what’s going on, hitting ourselves in the head with self-deprecating thoughts can be an unconscious automatic response.
That does not serve you!
Instead start by placing your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and acknowledge yourself for being willing to…
Realize that’s what’s going on.
Move through the fear.
Do something about it.
Next, let the unraveling and clarity begin. You might be struck by instant recognition and understanding and know exactly what to do next – or you might need some space and time to absorb the lessons of your souls dark night.
Where dark nights of our soul are usually taking place over a longer period of time, rude awakenings are short, intense jolts waking you from slumber.
Bitch slaps from the universe as I also like to call them are designed to wake you up and take stock of the direction you’re going in or what you’re doing…
Rude awakenings, while still rarely fun, do not have the same length of time as dark nights of your soul.
Being who you are, means you came into this world with strength and courage, with stamina and a deep desire to make a difference however free will means that YOU get to choose how you use all of your powers, skills and abilities.
Sometimes that, free will, means solidly holding onto a box that no longer serves you and probably have not for a while, keeping yourself stuck and small, but as you came here to awaken, to rise and to be a force for good, you will not be left alone meaning that if you do not come to your awakening on your own, you will, continuously be given the opportunity by seemingly rude awakenings.
These rude awakenings are usually no fun at all.
Instead they are deeply humbling and seemingly crumbling and it would be easy to mistake them for the wrath of God, for you being a tiny pawn in the big game, left to tumble and stumble your way through life, the victim of forces unseen.
They are, however, not.
Rude awakenings are meant not only to awaken you spiritually but also re-mind you deeply of your strength and stamina, of your courage and power, of who and what you truly are.
The rude awakenings can come in many different forms:
Whatever the form – these rude awakenings are meant to jolt and clear the path for you. To take stock of where you are, what you are doing and where you are going. Bringing a deep sense of truth and honesty to the table.
A truth and honesty that you may not have had the courage to face until the moment the rude awakening hit you and cleansed you with its fire.
Here’s Two Ways I Recommend:
#1 | Journal it out.
Pull out pen and paper and write down as much as possible without any censorship.
Ask yourself this question: “What have I learned from what I now see as a dark night of my soul or rude awakening?
#2 | Download my free guide Divine Clarity & Aligned Action. It’ll help you unravel and sort through all of the internal clutter.
Clarity is one of my superpowers so if you want support – I can help. A VIP Immersion is brilliant for unraveling everything that’s been going on which is what we start out with in a longer term collaboration.
Spiritual Business Coach | Business Developer | Teacher | Radical Love Rebel
“Maria Saraphina was the perfect guide during my second (!) major career change…
After working over a decade in healthcare, I felt confident that chapter was coming to a close but lacked clarity around what was to come next.
I could feel myself grasping at career directions out of desperation but couldn’t land on anything that felt right.
Maria Saraphina really helped me take a step back, identify, and clear, what was muddying the process. She introduced me to new tools that I will continue to use and helped me lay the much needed groundwork to align naturally with my heart’s authentic expression.
It’s hard to imagine having the patience, self-kindness, and trust that I experienced during this challenging process had I worked with any other business coach.
Maria is kind as she is organized, gentle and she is practical. deeply insightful and totally authentic.
Thank you Maria for helping me find the bravery to truly follow my heart into a much more aligned career!
Maria Saraphina is an international Teacher, Spiritual Business Coach & Radical Love Rebel with clients spanning the globe.
Born and raised in Copenhagen Denmark she now resides far outside of the city in a place close to nature.
She is an Aries Sun, Virgo Rising & Aquarius Moon. Fire Dragon, Numerological 7, Enneagram 8, 2/4 Sacral Generator with Right Angle Cross of Service (17/18 | 58/52). An INFJ-A, Magdalene Rising and a Procyon Startseed.
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