Comfortzone or not…
Now we’re going to be diving in, like I said, into a topic that it was a dear friend who recently, in a conversation, very frustrated, said to me like, why is it that I have to… Why do I have to push through my comfort zone? Why do I have to move out of my comfort zone? Why is everyone and their grandmother telling me to go beyond my comfort zone? Why can’t I just be comfortable in doing this work? And this is someone who has recently jumped onto her entrepreneurial path.
And so I have watched her grow and expand, and it’s been a blessing to see. And so I completely understand the notion of why.
Why do I have to be uncomfortable in order for this to take place? And we’re going to… I’m going to kind of dissect it and then I’m also going to give you some examples and hopefully some ways that you can actually move through it.
What you need to do or what to do in a way that’s more quote-unquote comfortable. First of all, I want to say that I don’t know if it’s bro marketing, but there seems to be this notion that everything like… You have to bust through your blocks and everything you have to push through your comfort zone in order to like to get to Nirvana, to get to like the golden gates or the this is where all the magic happens is beyond your comfort zone.
And while I understand that there is some truth in that because as I’ve shared plenty in this show and podcasts and all of the other ones that I’ve done is that there is a natural expansion that happens as we grow, as human beings or as souls having a human experience.
We grow however we could choose to, whether that should happen through love or through fear. And if you have walked with me for a while, you probably know which one I am going to choose or have chosen.
Investments and Fear
But there is, I guess, that there seems like… There seems to be this notion and I’ve seen it, especially when it comes to investment, like, Oh, you have to be… If you’re not scared of making some sort of an investment, then you’re not really into it. And that’s like to me is just B.S. It’s fear based marketing. It is having people go beyond what they’re actually available… Or capable of at that very moment in time. And so for me, that’s like a total nogo.
It’s also why whenever I do my free discovery sessions, when I work one on one with people, I never ask for a credit card at the end of our session because I allow for people to take time to actually sit with that decision that they have made.
99% of people know that they want to work with me before they even come into that session. However, I want to after, even after they’ve experienced the magic that does happen. I want to give them that moment of truly grounding that in. So there is no… That’s why I don’t do that, because it’s yeah, to me. It’s just no, it’s it’s a no go.
Do Not Get Derailed By Fear
So like I said, there is a there is a fundamental truth to quote-unquote going beyond our comfort zone because it’s what happens in nature. We’re always, ever growing and expanding. However, that growth and that expansion has come through love.
Now what I have experienced and both personally and with clients as well over the years, is that if the gap between where you are at and to where you want to go, if that is too big, usually the fear that that entails is so great that you end up focusing on the fear rather than focusing on where you want to go.
And so rather than finding a love based solution or approach to where it is that you want to go, you end up focused on all the reasons why fear showing up. And so you end up working on, it’s like a distraction.
You end up working on all the other things rather than where you actually want to go or be. And so what I do is that I invite you to focus on the solution or invite in the solution rather than getting caught up in all of the… I don’t want to say details because it is important.
So, for example, to give you an example, what I’m what I mean is that rather than focusing on where you want to go, you begin looking at why don’t I have the confidence to do this? Why am I procrastinating? Why do I have upper limits? Or what are my money blocks? Or what are the limiting beliefs and all of these are very valid inner workings that absolutely I invite you to work through.
However, I invite you to work through them, as well as still keeping an eye on where is it that I want to go. Because if you lose sight of that and just start focusing on, you know, maybe there is a meditation for confidence or whatever it is like, there are solutions, there’s a solution to my confidence.
Then you kind of lose sight of where it was that you wanted to go in the first place and then that becomes your main priority, if that makes sense. And also one of the things that’s really important for me to say, which is such a shame and and something that’s not… I don’t say it’s been coming up for me, but because it’s very for me, it’s very apparent is that…
Is It Dragging You Down Or Lifting You Up?
Within a lot of the self-help industry, like the self-help industry, is a huge, huge market today. And there is for a lot of the big players that have a lot of players in the market. There is a… There is money in keeping you stuck on your pain points and keeping you stuck in the triggers.
So by constantly focusing on that which you are lacking rather than where you want to go, they are keeping you stuck in a negative downward spiraling pattern or loop rather than be uplifting.
And so my invitation, if you’re someone who has been consuming a lot of different books and methods and all these stuff is to ask yourself, truly, has these serve me, helped me. Like, do they tear me down or do they lift me up? Like, Is there truly a solution?
And I understand that some of us have to go through different methodologies and different ways for us to find what resonates for us and what is true for us. I understand and I recognize that. So that’s not what I’m talking about, because that is a that’s actually for I see that as a search for what serves you.
But there is also within the industry, a wanting to keep you stuck in that loop so that you continuously buy whatever it is, the next thing that they’re selling and keeping you stuck in that.
So I wanted to get that out of the way, but I also recognize and honor the importance of inner work like. Yeah, it’s yeah, I full stop, I recognize that.
Now, for me, the solution to, if the gap between where you want to go and where you’re at right now is big or too..
If The Gap Is Too Big Fear Persists
Two things, number one, focus on weather like not focus, but check and see whether it’s too big, if the if the gap between where you want to be and the gap where you’re at right now, whether it’s in terms of what you’re doing or who you want to be or change it or, you know, behaviors, things that you want to change, if that’s too big, you may end up, like I said, riddled with fear, muddled with fear and being stuck in that because even that distance is too far.
So you may want to readjust, not because you don’t want to go full out and where you want to go, but in order to adjust, you allow yourself to actually get to a place where you can acknowledge yourself for taking the steps toward that and achieving things, and in the achievement and the accomplishments that then expand even further and creates more momentum and more energy that is positive for you.
Two fold Solution
However, the solution for me is also twofold. Number one is small steps. As I just mentioned, you can either readjust, but you can also do small steps. And there has been this. I’ve been sharing this for years, and then over the summer I actually discovered or someone introduced me to a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’ll leave a link in the description and literally what he describes or he has quantified and scientific side is what I’ve been saying for years.
It shows how small changes small steps actually bring about big changes. So small steps equals big changes, which may not initially sound right. But if you want, once you start doing it, you will actually see it works. So that’s the first thing. Small steps.
And then there’s also, like I said, the inner work and the inner work is different things. But for me, especially, it requires or requires… It involves energy work, of course.
Real Life Examples
Now I wanted to go ahead and I wanted to give you some real life example of what they mean this means. And as I go through these, as I go through these examples, these might not seem like directly apply to you.
So have an open mind and open heart and see how these could apply to you and in which ways they could apply to you. Because what I want you to do is I want you to take away what serves you and then leave the rest. As I’ve already shared in my intro, and I want to inspire, empower you to see how this could be possible or how this could work for you.
Terrified of the Camera
So the the small steps, big changes. So for example, number one is that really springs to mind for me is when I first started The Magdalene Voices, which was the or is the first podcast that I had, I was terrified of being on camera.
I had for years before then tried to do this was when was it? What was it called Periscope? I think this is this just shows my age. There are probably people listening or watching this who have no idea what Periscope is, but it was like enough, I think.
I suppose it’s kind of like what TikTok maybe is today or Instagram lives? I don’t know, but I was trying to do that and it was terrifying me.
I was just… Everything was like… Everything was just coming up for me and and so me doing the show and that idea was introduced to me. It was also introduced as a way of interviewing people.
And so what I started out with was the first very many episodes of The Magdalene Voices were really interviews or Sacred Conversation, as I like to call them, where I was listening in and I was interviewing, I was having Sacred Conversations with beautiful, illuminating souls.
And so through that, I then gained the experience of being on camera, the experience of recording of not editing, of like… because that was one of the premises was there is no edit. It’s like start and stop. That’s it. We don’t edit in between.
And so that gave me that was a small change that allowed or sorry, a small step that created a huge change for me because it gave me the option or the possibility to then start doing these episodes on my own. And if you have walked with me for a while, you’ll see that there are now plenty of solo episodes out there, but there wasn’t in the beginning at all.
Bit by bit birth
Another thing is the product or the online program that I’ve recently put out that has to do with the Human Design Gates and The Gene Keys, that was… The way that that was brought forth was I allowed myself to take quote unquote a small step in that I did not have to complete all 64 gates or keys in one go.
Instead, what I did was I’ve made the promise that every month there will be at least two new ones that are coming out, which in and of itself, it’s plenty of content for people to walk through and to work through in that program.
So that was a small change. That’s sorry, a small step that’s created a big change because now there is an online program that serves people that go through that program.
Increase & Decrease, 80/20 Rule
Next is in terms of clients, very often what I like to look at. If someone has if someone has… Some people do have a job, but most people are already entrepreneurs in one arena. But they want to shift their work from one arena to the next. And rather than just saying, I am done with this and going into the new which some people do, and I fully honor that, if it’s time, it’s time. But most people go through a phase where they instead…
What we do is we implement some sort of guideline or rule for them where they shift out of the work that they have been doing into the new. Meaning that we increase what they want to do while decreasing.
So, for example, if they’re someone who’s working with clients, whether it be, you know, as an illustrator or as a therapist or as a yoga teacher or psychologist, whatever it may be.
We start by increasing that which you do want, whether it is you want to work on your own stuff, whether you want to start coaching, whether you want to do it online rather than in person.
We start by increasing that which you do want whilst simultaneously decreasing that which you don’t, so that you also have… and this is very important the stability in the foundation and the security so that financially, you’re not just like looking at one big, empty gaping hole and you’re abandoning everything that you’ve already done.
So that is like, I like to call it my 80/20 rule, but it can be 70/30. It can vary for you. So looking at maybe you are a photographer and what you really want to do is you want to start mentoring people or work with people in a different capacity, then start by by increasing that which you do want while decreasing the other stuff.
Another way to do it is… I remember this from a client and I had this was in very beginning and I’ve probably shared this story before.
Is that what we looked at when he was going through his things was that we looked at clients that… His bread and butter work, so to speak, had to bring him 80 percent of his income while just taking 20 percent of his time.
So that… Which then gave him 80 percent of time to work on his own stuff and 20 percent to work on his client stuff and everything that did not meet those requirements. He then was referencing out to other people he was sending out to other people.
What that did was that decreased his sense of frustration and irritation with himself and the clients that just kept coming because he was brilliant at what he did and what he does.
Instead, he then increased his his his other work, which is, I believe, what he now fully lives off. But I think he does still take some 80 percent clients because of what it brings in in terms of an income and a stability and security and in the world that we live in money is simply what we the currency that we use.
You Don’t have to do it alone
So maybe it is also let’s say that you’re a therapist and you’re starting like… You’re wanting to start an office. This was an example that I was recently given, and I thought it was brilliant. A therapist that’s starting an office, but maybe you don’t either have the amount of clients in order to sustain that office or maybe you just don’t want to.
Maybe you want to define your work life differently and so you gather a group of people and you maybe you have a group of people where this is like your office, you bring a group of people, you don’t have to do it on your own or by yourself. You can actually gather people and then have that office and you can split it like each have one day or two days or, you know, set up a booking system for it in whichever way, shape or form that works for you. So that’s another small step that creates a big change. You get an office, but you don’t have all of the… It’s not all on you.
From Employed to Freelancer
Then if you are someone who is employed, I had a client or have a client actually worked with her for years where she um, she wanted again, to move into being more entrepreneurial and more independent, and what she did was she had a chat with her employer and they changed her contract from one of full time employee to freelancer, meaning that she could work from anywhere where she wanted to go.
She could sit at a coffee shop and work from there. If she wanted to do that, she could stay at home. She could take her kids to school and pick them up.
Afterwards, she could walk the dog and still do the work. She could work at night when the kids were asleep. She could she could then mold and shape her time, the time that she was spending into the way that she wanted to do.
And this contract or agreement she’d had is a is a one year. So it’s like renewed every year, and it has been for a long while now.
It works for both parties and and because of the length of it, it’s also again, something that is sustainable and something that is it’s not… It brings her security and knowing I have this stability, which is something that she maybe you’re someone who does need that.
Maybe you’re someone who just wants to have three months or whatever it is that you want to have in terms of that. So, so moving, that’s an idea of moving from being, you know, employed to moving into a freelancer. And of course, also depending on where in the world that you are and how the rules and the regulations are with that.
From in-person to Online, or Online to In-person
Maybe you’re someone who has either a physical presence and you’re moving, you’re wanting to move your business from being in person to moving online.
I recently have a client or I do have a client where that’s something that we’re working on. Her clients have been used to coming to her one on one in person, and now she’s wanting to actually bring more clients, but wanting them online because she wants to reach a wider audience and have more people from all over the world, like I do, have access to her. So that’s something.
Or maybe you’re someone who wants to do the opposite.
Maybe you’re someone who has a thriving online business and instead you want to now do in-person stuff, whether it is workshops or retreats, or simply have one day a week where you’re doing something in person.
Then again, increase and decrease or find the right balance or alignment for you.
Charging Your Worth…
Then there is the whole… Something that’s interesting is that the pricing money, money, money… I like to say when it comes to that… because pricing is I’ve already created an episode that call where I speak to the whole notion of charging what you’re worth at just at, at my core, your worth is beyond this world, so your prices cannot can never quote unquote equal your worth because of who you are, in truth. That’s number one. But I’ll share a link to that episode so you can go watch or listen to that.
However, what I’ve noticed is that again, when it comes to, like I said in the beginning, if the gap between where you want to be and the gap where you’re at, if that’s too big, the fear that then shows up might actually be too great of a an obstacle.
And so you can end up muddling through that rather than taking the small step that will actually bring you there. And to give you an example, I had this with my own pricing.
I had been stuck at… not “stuck” at a price. I had been at a price for a long time and I knew that I wanted to move to a different price. And so I moved to that different price and I immediately felt the shift that something was off for me and it was just energetically and yes, I did work on it.
Yes, I did release it. And still, I knew that this was off. And so I can’t remember if I did. I don’t think I reverted back, but I changed my prices into different price. And the moment I started.. The moment I landed on prices that I knew felt right to me, that I knew that I was able to hold space for personally and business wise. Clients started flooding in again.
Things opened up and things were just way more in flow. And so rather than me trying to continuously work through all the fear every day that’s showed up, I thought, OK, I’ll just adjust the price and then I’ll increase them as I go.
So, that is my invitation to you as well. Have a look at your pricing. Is your pricing one that you actually thrive with? Are you happy with it or is it something? Is there an adjustment and that can be either raising your prices or possibly decreasing your prices if you find that they’re out of resonance with you? So that was one that I had.
Small steps to 1 million dollars
Also, I recently had someone asked, like, tell me, like they wanted to be making millions and absolutely go girl. Remember that making $1 million is made by one million dollars, so it’s like one million one dollars.
And so looking at breaking that down, how are you going to be making one million dollars? What does that look like and what small steps you need to take? Does that mean that you start putting out programs? Does that mean that you’re doing workshop? Does that mean that you’re increasing your prices? Does that mean that you’re decreasing your prices? Does it like what small change, what small steps creates will create big changes for you or big shifts for you? In terms of that, then there is the final one.
Writing a Book, Creating An Oracle Deck or Program or Product
Well, a couple final ones. That is like if you have a book you want to write or a tarot deck you want to create or an oracle deck or a program. Anything that you want to do, something that is asking to be born through you.
15 minutes a day is better than none. So if you want to write a book, I once had a client where he said like they literally had no quote unquote no time in the day to do anything.
Well, if you don’t have quote unquote any time in the day to do anything, look at… Create 15 minutes. We can all create 15 minutes in a day and 15 minutes in a day will amount to if you’re doing it over a week, what an hour and a half.
And then that’s in a month. That’s five hours of writing rather than none. And so taking a small step can create a big change if you do it… I’m not going to say consistently because I know that there is like the work… But yes, consistently. But also, you may not do it like every day. Maybe you do it three days a week or two days a week or five days a week.
But again, 15 minutes a day is better than nothing at all. So and that goes for anything. It’s the same thing if you’re someone. If you don’t have a newsletter, it’s better writing… Doing one newsletter a month than it is to do none.
It’s better to show up once on Instagram or Facebook than it is to show up none. It is like the we have gotten so attached to these big notions and these big.
We see all these people and it’s like, Oh, I can be Oprah, oh, I can be this person. But we don’t see all of the work, all of the tiny, tiny steps that they have taken each and every day to get to that point.
And when I say each and every day, it’s OK to have an off day, it’s okay to rest. I do that as well. It’s OK to take time off. It’s OK to rest. It’s okay to be in the space of just being real and doing. And I hope that that’s what’s coming through with this.
Stretch without breaking
So what what my ultimate thing is like, you can stretch yourself without necessarily fully breaking.
And so this was a response to the notion of can I do this without having to constantly go move beyond my comfort zone? And my answer is yes, you can. You can do it. You can do it with love. And yes, there will also be times where it will be uncomfortable, where it will feel uncomfortable. That’s part of the journey, too, but you don’t have to live in that space all of the time. That is my experience. That is that is what I teach, what I preach, what I do, what I… How I live, while also recognizing that there is that trepidation when you are putting something new.
Just before doing this episode. I knew that I was going to share about the masterclass and the immersion, and I felt the fear come up and I was like, Uhhh. And you know, the fear and the excitement of it as well. I’m really excited about it.
So in closing, two things…
Number one is would you please share one small step that you either have taken or do take in order to begin your path to the big changes. Because the more of us that share different… You know, I’ve given you plenty of examples. However, the more of us that can share examples of what you’re doing and what we’re doing, the more we can inspire people to see, “Oh, that might be me”, or this is something that I could do.
I would love for you to share that in the comments below.
Secondly, come join me for the free Masterclass and Immersion, The Heart Centered Way of Business where you will get the four guiding principles, The 7 Initiations and the keyword is practical implementation.
So you actually get it under your skin. You’re actually do the work there. There’s going to be a Telegram group. I’m going to be live, I’m going to be active, it’s going to be so much fun and I hope that you will join us.