Having The Courage To Fail
Having The Courage To Fail – Transcript
Hello, Radiant One and a very big and a very warm welcome in to today’s episode in which we’re going to be talking about or I’m going to be sharing about a subject or a topic that is very tender and powerful at the same time, which really truly is one of the things I love about having a soul-driven, heart-based spiritual business is how we are flexible and how it can be both soft and tender and powerful and transformational and strong and it’s not either/or but it is a both/and.
And today’s topic I have named “having the courage to fail.” This is based both on both on my – as all of these episodes literally are. It’s based both on my personal experience as well as what I see in my work with clients.
One of the things that I’ve noticed more and more over the past year-ish or 2-ish years or so is that it doesn’t really matter whether you are at the beginning of your journey, whether you are already a seasoned spiritual entrepreneur, or whether you are a veteran and have been in the game for a very long time with a thriving successful business.
Expansion and Growth
These are things that for some reason keep reappearing and I think it is – as I say that, I see it as – you know, there’s no, there’s never any birth or rebirth without the breaking out of your current situation whether it be – if you look to nature, if it’s an acorn, there is a shell that’s protecting that. There’s a protective shell.
If it’s a baby, there is the embryotic sac that it’s breaking out of. If it is a flower, there is again that there’s that thing that surrounds it which I don’t know the word for – but when it blooms. For a butterfly, it’s the cocoon. For a bird, it’s the shell.
So there’s always the breaking through of the current confines and that very often is connected with some sort of struggle but a struggle that is driven by the knowing that life is on the other side, that love is the driver for that. I hope that you see that.
So as I am sharing about this, having the courage to fail, I invite you to look at it through your lens and to listen for how you can choose to use this in your business and in your life.
Failure to Not Harvest the Lessons
Many years ago now, I had someone who, we were talking about failure and to me, failure is only a failure if you choose not to harvest the lessons of it. And, to me, failure is connected with a tremendous amount of courage.
Because if you have the opportunity or the possibility or the experience of failure, that means that you have also had the courage to reach that point. It means that there is something that you have wanted to be different, another way that you have wanted to show up.
If you’re looking at it from a business perspective, there are services or offerings, podcast, shows, PDFs, graphic designs, paintings – there’s a plethora of ways that that expression for you is showing up in your world.
And you “feeling with that” has meant that you have taken all of the steps to putting it out into the world, that you have shown up, that you have had the courage to show up for yourself, for your truth, for who you are, for who you’re here to serve in a way.
Maybe that has not been met by the world in the way that you would have hoped for or the way that you had desired or the way that you had foreseen or the way that you had been told or any of those ways.
However, as I said, to me – and this was a discussion that I had with a dear friend, and I take it fully upon me that I may not be simply able to recognize where I have failed which I do not feel. I do recognize that there are areas in my life where I have “failed.”
However, the only reason why I do not necessarily consider them like failures in the way that they’re dragging me down is because with every “failure” that I have had, I’ve chosen to harvest the lessons. And the lessons that have been hiding within those “failures” has been instrumental in propelling me forward.
How You Choose To View The World
So choosing – again, to me this is a way that like how you choose to look at the way that you work and the way that you serve in the world is that if you’re choosing to come from a place of love in my world, that means that you will then, like I said, you will harvest the lessons.
You will ask yourself, “What could I have done differently?” You will choose not to have your apparent failure drag you down into the mud and be like “ugh.” You don’t go into a depressed state but you are choosing to see it from a different perspective.
That is not, to me, it’s not meant to be a spiritually bypassing. You’re not meant to like ignore or disregard like whatever has gone on. You have to look at it. You have to be willing to kind of delve into it and see what happened and what you could have done differently.
And on top of that – this is the like the extra bonus super – when you’re super-advanced, I would – just kidding – is that then also choosing not to hit yourself on the head with what you find.
So let’s say that you have done a launch of some sort and the people that you had wanted to show up or wanted to sign up have not signed up. You go through that and you discover that you had apparently sent an e-mail with the same headline twice (which I have done), forgetting to change the – you’ve changed the content of the e-mail but you’ve not changed the headline of the e-mail.
So you have a plethora of people leaving your list because they’re upset about receiving – which I totally get – and I did that and I’ve done that. So – but – I was going to sing but you probably know what song I was going to sing. (ooops I did it…)
Lift yourself up or drag yourself down?
But I chose not to hit myself in the head with it and just remind myself to be more careful next time, use it as a reminder of, “Oh, I have to, when I’m in that process I have to make sure that I’m actually checking the headiness for these emails more.”
That’s where – that’s what I call “love with love,” which I’ve probably mentioned before is a very, very exquisite concept that I have because I never, I’ve never found another word for it. I’ve never found like a brilliant, magnificent word for it.
Love with Love
It’s literally “love with love.” It’s where you have chosen to come from a space of love. Again, you’ve had something fall or fail to your – within your like that’s how you view it. Then you choose to say, “Okay. I’m going to look at this from a space of love.”
Then that’s the first step of love. Then when you add the love, the extra layer of love, is when you also choose to not have that like kick yourself in the head with it, “Oh, I should’ve done it.”
Then you go over and are like, “I should have not. I should have known. I should’ve …” you know. That’s where when you abandon that, when you abandon the kicking yourself in the head and like lying on the floor, screaming at the gods, “Why didn’t you warn me about that?!”
Own your Mistakes and your Failures
When you choose to own it – “okay, I made a mistake. I am going to do better next time. I’m going to do it differently next time.” That’s when you use the very exquisite, the very fancy concept of “love with love.”
5, 50, 500, 5000, 500.000 or 5 million is the same
And one of the things that I’ve also noticed in terms of having the courage to fail is that as you grow your business, and as you’ve grown your business – maybe you have thousands of followers on your social media.
Maybe you have loads of people commenting and liking and sharing. Maybe you have thousands of people on your newsletter list and your heart is calling you to do something that may seem different from what you’ve done in the past with your services and your offerings.
Share you’re truth – You’re not obligated
Then the stakes may seem higher. You may feel like you have a larger obligation to show up for those people and I’m here to tell you that you don’t. I’m here to tell you that you’re not obligated in any way, shape, or form to put out anything that is not of your heart, that is not of love.
Because ultimately that will not serve and it will not serve those that you’re here to serve. What will serve them is that you share your truth, is that you follow those nudges, those callings, the things that you hear within, even when it’s moving into a maybe slightly different area.
And chances are because when you work with your people, when you serve your people, what happens is that there’s an elevation. So you through your offerings, you are elevating those that you are here to serve and they are elevated with you.
Dissolve the fears, Expand in love and show up
So as you expand in love, as you discover that there are more things that you want to share in the world, that you’re not just happy with what you have and you want to continue sharing the love and the impressions you get and the notions that you have and the more that comes up for you, the people will be ready for it because you have literally cultivated that ground for them. So not sharing it will be a disservice to them.
So I understand that and I see this with my clients who have large followings is that the stakes may seem higher but ultimately it’s still the same root cause. It’s still you know will I show up truthfully as who I am in truth and love and service? Or will I allow fear to drive me and my business?
If you’re here, I am betting that the answer to that question is “hell no.” Because that’s not what we do, right? We follow that love even when it makes no sense at all, even when we know that jumping off of this cliff, we have no reassurance that we’re going to be able to fly.
It’s Still Scary
Even when we also know that even with experience, even when we have the experience of having leapt off of the cliff, we have stumbled, we’ve fallen, and then we’ve taken flight, it’s still scary.
It still shows up as something that seems – or can show up as something that seems scary and at the same time thrilling and exciting and brilliant. Ultimately, doing that is what I see as having the courage to fail.
I guess I’m also mentioning it because I want to take out the – what do we call it? I wanted to take out the stigma I suppose around failure, that somehow like you wake up out of bed in the morning and then you’re just like a success from the get-go.
Just, like, success by whose standards? You get it right the first time. Like, and this has been one of my pet peeves since I started my business is that the notion that like overnight success and it just happens like that.
Overnight success is an illusion
If you look at those people who have “overnight success,” usually there are years and years and years of trial and error. There are years and years and hard work and dedication and commitment and having been driven by that force within you, that drive, that compassion, that passion, that love that is within you.
That is not to say that in order for you to have a successful spiritual business, you need to – I don’t want to say work hard because like I do believe in discipline. I do believe in working for what you’re committed to.
It doesn’t have to be hard nor does it necessarily have to be easy. I think that they’re in both of those polarities lies truth and I think that there lies lessons and so it’s not again it’s not either/or. It’s both/and.
Your Failures is a part of your path to success
There are a plethora of quotes that says – I think one of them is, which is the one, the Thomas Edison one where he said like to invent the light bulb, he literally had to do like – he had 10,000 failures in order to do that. So that was his way to doing that.
And as far as I’ve understood, he was actually also not the necessarily the first one. I know that he’s the one that’s being touted for it and don’t take me for it because I haven’t researched it so maybe I shouldn’t even have brought it up.
But I do believe there was a couple of African-American brothers who did something with light bulbs or electricity before him. Just saying. I will probably have to research that now.
Flip your fear of failure to courage
So I understand the stakes if you’re someone who’s an experienced or seasoned – that the stakes may seem higher but ultimately but what my invitation for you is to really narrow it into what is the core of it and usually it is the fear of failure.
So if you can flip your fear of failure into understanding how I’m going to have the courage to fail, like I’m going to be putting my everything into this, I’m going to be showing up, I’m going to be sharing, I’m going to be creating, I’m going to be blending, weaving the world, creating this magnificent whatever it is that’s coming through you and bring it to the world.
That means you have courage. You have the courage to fail. And I would love to hear from you. What is your biggest insight that you have gained through watching or listening to this episode?
If you want to be held and supported in a powerful sacred space as you walk your path with the courage to fail, you’re more than welcome to apply for a free discovery session at MariaSaraphina.com/apply so that we can see if you and I are meant to work together and whether or not I am meant to support you.
That is what I had for you today. I love you. Take care.
xo, Maria Saraphina
Spiritual Business Coach