Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You – Transcript
Hello, Radiant One and a very big and a very warm welcome into today’s episode in which I’m going to be sharing about something that is or can be very vulnerable. It’s a question that often comes up in sessions with clients.
It is about what do you do if the people who have been part of your – not getting you to where you’re at right now but have been part of your journey so far. What do you do if those people are not to be part of your journey moving forward?
Because you are a soul-driven, heart-based spiritual entrepreneur, you have a big, big, caring, kind, compassionate heart for people and for those within your circles. So letting go of people who no longer serve you can be a real challenge.
At the same time, to me, a spiritual business coach, it is also a very, very powerful lesson in assessing your worth, in creating your success, in allowing yourself to grow, and giving yourself the best possible surroundings and opportunities to move forward with your vision and your dream.
As human beings, we’re each and every one of us on our own path. So while you may start out at a similar place with someone, you might also find as a lot of my clients do, that at some point or another you have moved in a different direction or you have moved further ahead. You have worked on your shit.
I want to say that when you work with a spiritual business coach like me, you’re going to be working on your limiting beliefs. You’re going to be working on expanding love, dissolving fear and that means propelling your business. It means growing your business and that gives you an advantage that someone who doesn’t do that works doesn’t have.
So you’re bound to “move ahead” of them. I say “ahead” because you’re just a little further on the path and they might get there, they might not get there but when you work with someone like me, I find it’s very common and very normal for me to hear that my clients have moved to a place where those that have walked with them for a while no longer serves them or also even worse, may even pull them down or drag them down.
I’ve had clients who report how when they show up in the world and when they shine with sharing their products and their services, when they share their truth, when they just shine, they’ve received horrible messages from so-called “friends” who think that they’re boasting, who think that what they’re saying is wrong or out of place and that just the most, like I said, horrible things.
Each time, I’ve had to say, “Is this someone that you consider a friend, whether it be within your – like a business friend or a friend-friend?” Because if a friend-friend of mine or a business friend said something like that to me, I would be like, “Ugh.”
I would be very strongly reconsidering that and you can do that and also at the same time acknowledge that that is coming from a hurt place within them. Very often those who try to trash us, those who hate on us, those who despise us, those who don’t like us – they come from a place of hurt. They see something in us that they don’t think that they have in themselves and then in order to feel good, they try to pull us down and by that way feeling better.
Now I know that Yeshua said, “Turn the other cheek” and I think an important lesson missed about turning the cheek is that he turned the cheek meaning he didn’t allow for himself to be slapped in the same way over and over again.
He turned the cheek and that means that you come from a different place so you can let people go and you can let people know that this is not acceptable while at the same time holding space for understanding that they’re hurt, sending them love, and sending them compassion.
That doesn’t mean that you need to engage with them again. It doesn’t mean that you need to help them or support them but it means that you can actually set very strong boundaries for you and yourself for your success, for your movement forward, for your business and for your services. So that’s just one way of doing that.
The second thing is if it’s someone where you’re – I think the most common term and I’m not an expert in this is what would be called an energy vampire, like someone who’s constantly draining you.
Again, you might have started out on the same path but then you have moved ahead. You have done the work. You’ve faced your fears. You’ve cleared whatever’s been going on and you’ve moved ahead.
So the construction of your relationship with that person, the way that it used to be, no longer serves you but it drains you and it takes time away from you doing the work in your business, you promoting your business, creating your services, working with clients, and all of that that is required within a business.
So in that case it is again extremely important that you set boundaries for yourself and that you also come out and say – I recently had someone who came to me with this exact question. The way that I usually phrase it is that it’s about – I like to be open and honest.
So if you have been able to – for example, let’s say you’ve been able to meet with someone at a coffee shop to work even though you know that a lot of the work that you’ve been doing has been talking – if you know that that no longer serves you and you no longer have the time for it really because you’re engaged in the product that you do or delivering your services and all that, marketing, promoting your things, showing up in different places, doing workshops, events, and all of that.
Then it’s about, I’d prefer honesty and being clear and letting that person, “Listen. My business has moved to a point where this is no longer possible for me. I love you and I would love to meet with you [if that’s the case; it might not be the case]. But when we meet, I need for us to meet outside of normal working hours or I need us to meet in this time and don’t have it be about business.” So you can actually come from a place of love and still be letting go.
In terms of letting go, or “shedding” as I like to call it, as human beings we seem to have lost – and I’ve said this before. But as human beings, we seem to have to lost the knowledge or the – we’ve distanced ourselves from nature. We don’t understand that we’re not apart from nature. We are a part of nature.
Just as we have the cycles of the year, just as we have a tree growing, shedding its leaves, sprouting, and all of that. In just the same way, we human beings have cycles. That goes within relationships as it goes within products and services, as it goes in basically everything in life comes and goes in cycles.
So it’s merely – and I say merely because I want to try and normalize it – that there are times when it can be painful. I understand that. It can be really painful if you’ve had a deep connection with someone and you’ve each served each other at that particular point in your journey, it can be extremely painful to realize that this is no longer working for me or for us and then let it go.
But I also know the deep sense of joy, release, relief that comes from you living your truth. Part of living your truth is letting go of what no longer serves you and that comes in relationships.
When we talk about business, that is true in many different ways, in many different forms, and once you understand that it is simply normal and a part of the way it is. It’s not to say ditch people and leave just leave them high and dry, be “see ya’, suckers” and not care for them.
But also understand that you have a vision. You have a mission. You have a business and you have a family or some loved ones that that’s why you do this. That’s the most important.
So continuously allowing yourself to not speak your truth, to go have meetings with people even if you don’t want to and even if you can see it doesn’t serve you and it drains you – that ultimately doesn’t serve anyone.
I hope that you can understand that the shedding of relationships, of people, is a normal and cyclical part of nature. I see it as that and again I want to emphasize that it is possible to come from a space of love in doing that and that comes from speaking your truth and also from understanding that it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be mortal enemies.
Again, it depends on where that person is at but it doesn’t mean that you have to be mortal enemies but it just means that “I’m moving in a different direction. My business is taking off in a different direction and so I don’t have the time for this,” essentially.
Again, like I said, that can be really, really painful. That is something that I hear – I don’t want to say often but this is a part of – this goes whether or not – this doesn’t matter where you’re at on your entrepreneurial journey.
If you’re in the beginning of your journey, if you have moved ahead and are 3 to 5 years in, or if you’re 10 years in, I bet you – and this is going to be my call to action for this episode is – I would love for you to take inventory to look at your business and see “what can I shed? What have I been holding onto out of misconstrued idea that, ‘oh, this person helped me’?” Where have I been allowing myself to hold myself back?”
Because essentially that is what you’re doing when you do not let of what no longer serves you. You’re holding yourself back. It’s like a weight that is draining you energetically as well as physically.
It’s simply holding you back from moving forward because you’re allowing yourself to be loaded with probably a guilty conscious, maybe some shame, maybe some fear of what they will think if you come out and say this – and also fear of the unknown, what’s going to happen once I’ve said this?
So my call to action for you today is to take an inventory of what can I shed? What’s no longer serving me and what can I let go of? Once you do that, I would love to hear from you in the comments to hear what is your biggest takeaway from this episode.