Taking Others Where You Haven’t Gone Yourself – Transcript
Okay, Radiant One. So today’s episode is probably going to be a lot of rant because it’s “inspired by” a general theme or a meme or quote that I’ve seen on social media and different places and I’m simply tired of it.
So I just have to speak out on this because I find it to be complete and utter bull. I’m just warning you: Hold onto your seat because I am not sure exactly what’s going to come out but I am opening the channel and I’m allowing this to come through because I’m tired of this. It is – I find parts of this to be really bullying. I find it to be something that is holding people down and back and it is not okay in my mind.
So the – I wish I’d saved the meme but I didn’t. I just saw someone share it on a Story and it’s this general theme that when you choose to work with someone, you need to make sure that they’ve gone where you want to go.
If you don’t choose someone that has gone where you want to go, they can’t support you in getting there which to me is complete and utter bull.
My job is to support you in going where you want to go
Because me as a coach – and I’m going to go more into this – but me as a coach, I have – basically every week, I am supporting my clients in getting to places where I have never gone, where I do not want to go, because it’s not about me.
When I work with someone, whether it be as a coach or whatever it is that you are, when I work with someone, my job is not to take them where I have been. My job is to “support” them in going where they want to go.
So this whole idea that – to give you examples: Before I ever really stood out on social media, spoke up, had a podcast and shows, I coached my clients in doing that very, very well.
I coached them in having an online presence on social media. I coached them on having a consistent practice in doing newsletters. I coached them in creating blog posts, products and services, and all of that before I even went there myself. So I know that it’s possible because I’ve seen the results in my clients.
I have had my clients create products and services that I do not have, that I do not want to have. I’ve coached them on creating apps. I coached them on writing books. I’ve coached them on putting together courses, programs, membership club spaces, things that again I don’t necessarily have and don’t necessarily want.
You can take your clients where you haven’t gone
So it is possible if you’re someone – and I know that I’m speaking right now from the point of being a coach because that’s my standing point but if you’re a virtual assistant, if you’re someone who works whether it be as an online business manager, as a social media manager, as any way, shape, or form, if you’re supporting an entrepreneur in some way, shape, or form, for you to have – yes, it’s nice to have a website but having a website doesn’t mean that you are excellent at SEO. It doesn’t mean that you’re really well at building membership sites. It doesn’t mean that you can transcribe. It doesn’t mean that you can do all the social media stuff.
Because, yes, there is a lesson in going and doing things yourself. I understand that but you don’t have to necessarily do that in order for you to support other people. So that’s if you’re in the virtual assistant business.
I have to breathe because I can feel I’m really getting riled up and I think I’m getting riled up because I know so many people who support their clients in going to the places their clients wants to go without necessarily having gone there themselves or wanting to go there themselves.
Don’t take my word for it – Let me give you examples
So for example, if you read the Akashic records, when you go into the hall of records you may be taken into places that you have never gone yourself on your own journey but that doesn’t mean that your client won’t be served by you going there and retrieving that information.
If you’re something as “mundane” but magical as an accountant, your business might be a small practice, it might be a small LLC but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know your shit and you don’t know what best serves your clients.
There can be tax benefits that you’ve never benefitted from because that’s just not applicable to your business so you not going – again, that’s an example of that your clients may want to go places that you’ve never gone or will never go nor will want to. But again it doesn’t mean that you can’t take them there or support them in going there.
If you’re a healer, the healing – there’s so many different ways of healing. There is also a lot of different healing modalities but healing trauma in one area – yes, there is an idea or a sense in having, being an empath and being – but that’s something completely different.
Yes, an expert might be a great idea
So if you’re a healer, even though you might not have been going through abuse yourself – like maybe you haven’t gone through – I’m not sure if this is the right example. But you are still able to hold space for the release of trauma, yes, there will be times – and that goes for all of this. There will be times when having an expert – and that’s what I do with my clients.
When I coach them, when we come into an area that gets very, very specific, I always encourage them to reach out to and hire someone who’s dedicated in this particular area. There’s nothing wrong with hiring experts and having experts that are niched in one particular area.
But the idea that you need to have gone where your clients want to go – so for example, if you’re a baker, if you’re someone who bakes, would you be able to bake a wedding cake even though you’ve never been married? Or would you be able to create things for a child’s first birthday even though you haven’t had a child?
Yes, you would. So the idea, the notion that you’re not able to take people where they want to go unless you’ve gone there yourself, to me it’s just utter bull.
Not negating the value of experts
Again, I’m not negating the value of experts who know their shit and who are specific and niched in one area.
It’s also about knowing your limits in whatever capacity you have and it’s okay for you to say, “This is not my particular area of expertise. I would recommend that you do x, y, and z or you contact this person or you look for that,” which is what I do in my practice.
Also, I just touched upon this briefly but when I go into session with clients, whether it be in group sessions or in one-on-one sessions, I open up my senses.
I expand my senses so that I’m able to hear, see, sense, feel with my clear senses and that means that you gain access to a deeper level of wisdom, of knowledge, of intuition, of something that is far beyond what we can see and experience with our physical senses and in this world.
Through that, questions arise. So when I sit in session with a client, I will ask – they will be talking about something and all of a sudden, a question will pop up or there’s something that doesn’t resonate or seems out of alignment.
I’ll ask that question and lo and behold, we open up a whole new venue or area. I will see – when clients talk about their visions and what they want to do, I see their businesses as if. So in the very first session we have, they talk about what they want and then we begin taking the action steps in getting there.
Three Tips for when you’re seeking someone to support you
So to me, it’s bull. It’s basically bull but I want to give you three tips because I also understand that is it is important for you to be able to know what’s real.
Let’s be real: In this patriarchal, shadow-based world, there has been a lot of focus on external parameters, a lot of focus on glitter and glamour, coaches in front of private jets flying to whatever. (That won’t ever be me).
So I want to give you three tips in order for you to – number one, if you’re seeking out someone who you’d like to have support you on your journey, whether it’s someone like me, a spiritual business coach, or a healer or an accountant or hiring a baker or a virtual assistant or yoga teacher or whatever it is you’re in the market for, here are three tips in order to best find your way or navigate.
So number one is understand discernment. So be clear about what it is that you want and then understand that everything in this world can be portrayed as perfect. I can have photos taken and I can look exactly like what you think you want.
But there is something deeper so I always recommend that if you’re wanting to work with someone, try them on for size. Most people offer some form of either a free discovery call, 15-minute check-in, they have probably a website or a blog post that you can check out and then go beneath.
Don’t just jump in but take your time. Love takes – love doesn’t rush. There’s no rushing. You can take your time so understand discernment and be okay with discerning what’s going on and take your time in that.
2. Love-based Decisions
Number two is make a love-based decision based on what you want and don’t make a decision based out of fear. Don’t think that “if I don’t do this, I will be missing out on x, y, and z.” Do this because you understand that this person will help you get to x, y, and z, where you want to go or what you want to achieve in whatever area or form this is.
3. Trust Your Gut
Third part, that is the ultimate one, is choose to trust your gut. If something seems off, is there something that’s not right? Whether it is listening to me or someone else, unfollow, unsubscribe, head for the hills. Don’t jump in, ignoring your intuition because your intuition is what is always, always, always guiding you toward the highest for all.
So those are three tips in order for you to – if you’re in the market for something. Then I also want to say if you’re someone who’s seen these kind of memes and you feel – I don’t want to say overwhelmed – or you feel ashamed by it or guilted by it or triggered by it in some shape or form, I hope that this episode inspires you.
Because like I said, I have coached and every week coach people to where they want to go, not necessarily where I want to go. Because those two things are very different things and it’s based on you personally. So I hope I have inspired you to understand that you’ve got a gift and it is for you to choose how to use that gift.
When You’re Creating Your Own Path Others Might Resist
Something that’s coming up as well at the end here is that I once heard of someone – and this happens over and over again and this will continue to happen over and over again until we’re done with it.
But when you’re “breaking the waves,” when you’re paving your own path, very often that’s an off-beaten path. It’s not necessarily what the establishment is doing. It’s not what people are used to but that means you will come up against resistance, both within yourself but you may also experience it in your community, meaning that when you’re doing things in new ways, those that have been in that realm forever doing it the same old way might not be open to the way that you’re doing it so they will try to shame, blame, and guilt you, keeping you down.
So that’s the external appearance but also the internal and that’s for me, the internal work is more important because you have to be able to hold space for that. You have to release the idea that you’re crazy for wanting to do this because you’re not.
You’ve been given this idea, this brilliant, magnificent idea for a reason, and there is a reason why it hasn’t been done in that way before – because you haven’t been here before. You haven’t been ready to do this in this way before.
So this was my rant. You can take people where they want to go without having gone there yourself. I see that in my practice every week, not just for me but I see it in others as well. I hope I’ve given you enough examples to show you how that is totally bull and it is totally possible.
Let me hear from you…
I would love to hear from you. If you’re paving a new path, share it with us in the comments to the blog post so that we can celebrate you and have you inspire loads of others who are to come after you.
Finally, I would love for you to share it with a friend because I believe that this is supposed to go out to as many people as possible.