Have To, Want To, Need To – Transcript
Is The Way You Speak Sabotaging You?
Hello, Radiant One and welcome to today’s episode in which I am going to be sharing one of my magic tricks, one of the – the reason I’m laughing is because it’s also one of the things that when I first work with people, mostly it’s in one-on-ones, but I do this in group work as well or in masterminds.
It kind of in the beginning can be slightly annoying and irritating but my work as a coach is not necessarily to pat you on your back, though I will do that.
But it’s not necessarily – what I see as one of my biggest jobs is really to allow yourself to see and allow yourself to hear from a space of love – deep, resonating, powerful love.
So this thing that I am going to share with you, in the beginning when I do this to my clients or to my mastermind people, it can be slightly annoying and I know that because it was annoying as hell to me when I first had to go through this. Had to go through this – well, there we go.
Conscious or Unconscious?
The thing is your language, whether it be conscious or unconscious, really rules your day, your life, and I have a very keen sense and a very strong ear for bullshit.
When things are out of alignment or out of resonance, I react or act and I have to make that heard so that you know.
Because it’s not about me.
It’s about calling you out to call you in, so that you may cleanse more, rise more, be more, and heal more really.
So there are 3 words: It’s called “have to, want to, or need to.” Very often when I start working with people – and bear in mind this is soul-driven, heart-based spiritual entrepreneurs just like you who work alone.
A lot of them are solopreneurs. They may have a team of people that they’ve hired. They may have freelancers or they may have VAs or online business managers. They may have graphic designers.
They may have people they’re hiring but most of these of people – well, none of these people, you included, have a boss.
Who’s the Boss?
So when I hear the words “I need to” or “I have to,” I can’t help but point that out because it’s so interesting how it seems as though being a soul-driven, heart-based entrepreneur/solopreneur, we’re the only ones who will abandon a 40-hour work week, 45-hour work week, or even a 38.
I can’t remember how much it is in Denmark but a work week – to go into a job or a business where we will work 80 hours or 100 hours a week, slaving away until we realize first of all that’s not – that doesn’t serve you.
There’s another episode on that that I’m going to include in this. (Why You Need To Do Less, Not More)
However, when I hear people say or my clients say, “I have to.” my first question is, “Says who?” And I’m going to give you this question as well.
One of the things I want to inspire you to do with this episode is I want to inspire you to begin questioning the things that you say, begin questioning the voice within your mind, and it may at first be unconscious and notice how many times you say, “Oh, I have to” or “I need to.”
Because what happens when you say those words, usually it’s attached to some sense of – I don’t want to say responsibility but it’s attached to some sense of urgency and to some sense of fear, “If I don’t do this, x, y, and z will happen.”
That’s very interesting because who’s the boss of your business? Who says that you have to do or that you need to do anything?
Now you may already have run for the hills and thought, “She’s batshit crazy, what she’s talking about. I have to do this and I need to do this if I want x, y, and z.”
I get that but what I would like for you to understand is that there is a difference between coming from a space of having to and needing to which I consider to be in the realm of the fear-based mindset and then coming from the space of wanting to.
You have calling
You have created your business because you have a calling, because there is something that is asking to be birthed through you, some thing or some things that can only come through you and be expressed by you.
That call, that desire, that comes from a space of love.
That comes from a space of service so if you can flip your mindset into this is actually – you know, there’s not some outside source or force who is forcing you to do this so that you have to do this or need to because otherwise you won’t blah, blah, blah.
If you can come from the space of, “Oh, I am doing this because I want to, because writing newsletters or creating videos or downloading graphics or hiring, whatever – that is something that is going to serve me and those I am here to serve. Therefore, it’s something that I want to do.”
And trust me, there is such deep – I don’t want to say relief but satisfaction in coming from a space of, “Oh, this is something that I want.”
And let’s be clear.
There are probably things in your business that you do not want to do and depending on where you’re at in your journey, my biggest encouragement would be for you to outsource it.
Start by outsourcing those things that you don’t necessarily want to do or don’t want to have to do or don’t want to have to need to do.
Go ahead and start small.
I’m not asking you to run out and max out your credit cards and hire whatever in order because you think – and that’s again, that comes from a “need to.”
You think you need to do something because that’s based in fear.
Like I said, with this episode I’m really wanting to inspire you to begin noticing your verbiage, your language, how you express yourself, not only to the world but to yourself.
Begin to notice, “Am I coming from a space of want or am I coming from a space of need?”
If this is something that is heart-based, soul-driven, how can I flip it?
How can I flip that and actually clean out, clear out my language, the way that I talk to myself and others? And how can I come from a space of, “This is what I want?”
I think there is also a part of us – I don’t know if it’s just for women or if it’s in general being intuitive or an empath or sensitive, oftentimes we don’t want to come from a space of want.
Because it seems though, “There’s something that I desire.” For a long time, your needs may not have been met.
What you wanted may not have been met so asking for what you want and beginning to build that can be difficult and maybe challenging in the beginning.
So that is what I want to leave you with.
The mastermind, the Magdalene Rising, the early bird offer is still up there but it’s going away pretty soon so make sure that you check out Mariaestela.com/mastermind if you’re wanting to be part of an amazing group of spiritual entrepreneurs who want to come from a space of love, whether it be in their businesses or in their personal lives.
Let me hear from you
What came out for you? What revelations did you have? What insights did you gain? What self-discovery did you make? Share that with us in the comments.